Phil is Phil…and Phil is an @$$hole…but a fun loving, caring, openended @$$hole. If Cartman was Filipino, grown up and lived in the ghetto, that’s your boy. Of the many doodoo like qualities he has one good one, he can tell you how to get to the nearest liquor store from anywhere in the city.

myspace.com/phil_nutshack

Tito Dick was once famous! He was part of one the very 1st boy bands called the “boy friends” They were hugely popular in the 70’s but were disbanded when 4 of the 5 members were indicted for various sexual acts. Dick was the 5th member…he was only busted for smuggling dolphins into the US. Now Dick is busy taking care of his nephews and their friends. When he’s not doing that, he’s making babies.

Cherry Pie is a tall drink of Vietnamese coffee that’ll make a grown man cry. This multi talented beauty queen is smuggling raisins and a Portuguese sausage. Born Joeseph Gotmytan, Cherry dominates the Vietnamese Cross dressing scene. One time she was mistaken by a police officer for a prostitute…she got mad and raped him.

Chita is a hot bartender with huge assets. A modern day RESPECTABLE slut. She’s an enabler. She’ll serve you drinks with visual aids and pretend you’re not looking at her. Breast milk is her favorite drink for babies. That way they don’t grow up to be perverts. She loves babies!

Dwayne is a 4th generation landlord. It’s in his blood. It was either that or be a re-occurring character on “To Catch a Predator”. He was married once to a Filipina Mail order Bride. They were madly in love but citizenship was approved.

Jack is what Americans in Kansas picture when they think of overweight FOBS. What people don’t realize is that it’s true. He’s big, book smart, street retarded and not self conscious. This equals = embarrassing to be around in public. And his name means to masterbate in old school Pinoy Hyphy talk.

Horat hails from the jungles of the Philippines. He’s a Tarsier. Which is like a mini monkey with big eyes and sticky fingers. Jack found him close to death in the jungles and saved him with robot parts. Now he’s an annoying talking monkey with endless capabilities. Keep listening, you’ll understand him sooner or later….13th Warrior.

Willy is a one of The Tenderloin’s top 10 homeless characters and he’s a SF fixture. Why? He’s never lost a bum fight, he looked like Mad Max way before the movie ever came out and the world is his toilet. Talking is overrated, grumbling is the new wave!

Sanjee is a man of many smells, but you can’t deny his Beer and Porn specials. He peddles his vices to the most selective tastes and the nastiest fetishes. From Indiana Joana and the Black Hole of Mamoo to the funky cold medina…Hear me now and smell me laters, Sanjee puts the smack down on all you haters.

Why is the name Angel only given to Porno stars and tough ass Mexican dudes? I have no idea but this dude’s got some sweet ass naked chick tattoos that use his real life nipples! I’m aroused…wait, no I’m not! But forget about the tattoos, the force is strong in Darth Cholo!!! Don’t you know he’s loco?